So in the Team Game, my neighbor next to me is Myk … and we’ve been having an ongoing"fun" diplomatic discussion that I thought others might get a chuckle out of … so I’ll post here.
To set the scene, there was a midpoint star we were both racing to get from the start … but I got there first as his single shipper was on the way … so he wrote to me:
Subject: Gift ship approaches
I’ve sent an ambassadorial ship with 12 cases of my finest VindemiatrixIan single malt whisky to Okul as a token of good will to the mighty Green empire.
May our races lives long and peaceful lives along side each other.
Welllll … it turns out that is the Big Green Monster’s favorite beverage, so he thanks you deeply for your generous gift.
I actually have a carrier stocked with some prime beef wrapped in bacon (Hulk’s favorite breakfast food!) that I can send your way - do you have a preference where I should send it?
It might be best if I did NOT send that carrier, but let the Hulk consume it at Okul … which should keep his bestial urges to attack at a minimum.
Can I instead send you the Deal-of-the-Day via Amazon Prime as a token of my appreciation … and also keeping the peace between us.
His Scan doesn’t reach to my star, but his single-shipper hit 49 ships - D’OH! He then writes:
Greetings once again your Green-ness,
Thank you for the vouchers, I was able to purchase Pink Floyd’s entire back catalog on vinyl. Delightful.
It’s the most curious thing, but carrier MH370 (with the whisky) has gone missing. I’ve not heard back from the captain since they departed Arcturus. Did they make contact? We’re getting nothing from the black box… if it turns up on Okul please let me know.
I’m delighted that you enjoyed my appreciation gift - Amazon truly has made shopping easier. Although if you are a fan of vinyl, can I recommend you pick up a copy of Herb Albert’s “Whipped Cream” for the cover art alone - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whipped_Cream_%26_Other_Delights
I have bad news about your carrier and your gift.
We had a welcome reception all lined up for it at Okul … but it was flying very erratically as it entered the star system and ended up crash landing. Our rescue crew quickly pulled the ambassador and fleet captain from the destroyed ship … and both were … wellllll … stinking drunk.
Between the two of them, they had consumed the entire 12 cases of VindemiatrixIan single malt whisky!
There was actually a few drops left in one bottle which the Hulk used to wash down that prime beef with bacon - he gave it a big Green Thumbs up … and is willing to PayPal you a substantial number of credits for more.
He’s wondering if it would be easier for you to ship another ship to Okul … or should he send a ship to Arcturus , Mu Etamin , or Fast Sham ?
This is a shameful day for our empire. You just can’t get the staff these days. Admittedly it’s hard to resist that single malt, I almost don’t blame them. The ambassador and captain are banished from my galaxy for their incompetence, you may do as you see fit with them. May I suggest they’d make a nice pair of foot rests?
You can send a courier fleet to the aforementioned stars if you like, although I should warn you my captain of arms is on edge after the incident and is prone to setting automated defenses a tad on the heavy side. Probably best I send drones with any future goods.
P.S. I say, you certainly know how to pick your album covers.
Yea, I hear 'ya about how it is hard to find good staff … several of my re-supply vessels have left Space Marines behind rather than bring 'em to the front lines. I think there needs to be a galactic ban on alcohol aboard Hyperspace Carriers … but they are already restless from lack of activity and that might cause more aggression.
Your Ambassador and Captain are still sobering up … but when they awake, I’ll give 'em the option of coming along on the next ship I send your way.
I’ll also include a pristine copy of that “Whipped Cream” album from my personal collection for your perusal … and here’s a nice RL article about her 50 years later: http://goo.gl/7bjOVJ
Gotta love her comment to the teens at the record store “Enjoy the memories”
Plus note the editor’s comment how it was the most-read story at the Seattle Times - LOL!